So I recently watched the documentary Lake of Fire. (And if after you read this, you’re curious to see it, it’s available on netflix).

Lake of Fire is apparently a euphemism for burning eternally in hell – burning and burning and wishing you could die … but never being able to.

Despite that harrowing title, Lake of Fire is actually a 2.5 hour documentary chronicling the extremely multi-faceted abortion debate. I experienced the film as a continuum, in that the beginning of the film focused primarily upon the pro-life (anti-abortion) movement, the middle was a more balanced transition, and then toward the end there was a predominantly pro-choice focus.

Many of the arguments presented I had heard in some form or another, but there were a few points that really struck me. I will be sharing those here. Any factual sounding statements (i.e. ones that I don’t preface with “I think” or “I feel” or “I believe” are factoids taken from the documentary:

1) Abortion Sways Voters (And Pray-ers?)

Those that take an anti-abortion stance (i.e. religious fundamentalist leaders, republicans, etc.) only care about being anti-abortion so long as it brings people to their cause.

The documentary basically made the point that having an anti-abortion stance is more about drawing in the ignorant populace than it is because these leaders actually care whether or not someone gets an abortion.

They will continuously bring it to the table because it is divisive and because it’s something that will create converts (either religious or political).

This, I had never really thought about. I always bring it down to a personal level, like this person has developed their ideals in a place entrenched in control issues. But when the documentary brought this to my attention, it made total sense to me.

2) The Seamless Garment Pro-Life Argument.

Someone was discussing how, because of the aforementioned phenomenon, many people who call themselves “pro-life” are heinously miscategorizing themselves because their outlook on several policies make it so that they are indeed, not pro life.

The Seamless Garment is the idea that there is really only one way to be truly pro-life – by cherishing life and all those means by wish life can be cherished. So, in order to be truly pro-life, one would necessarily have to be anti-capital punishment, anti-war, anti-war weapons manufacture, and against any policy that would result in the decrease in quality of life for any citizen, regardless of status. (Obviously, lots of folks who are pro-life simultaneously believe in the death penalty … these folks would not fall under the penumbra of the seamless garment.)

In terms of the policy side of things, if you are pro-life you need to support policy that will increase quality of life for people, which in the current state of affairs we live in, means free access to family planning services. If it were a perfect world, all you would need would be birth control/condoms. Everyone would use them, no one would get pregnant, and so as a pro-lifer it would be okay to be anti-abortion because it would be moot.

However, because we live in reality, if one were to lobby to take abortion rights away, you would be lowering the quality of life for all women – especially those on the lower end of the economic spectrum. Now, according to one of the talking heads in the film, the reason poorer women would be more affected by illegal abortion is because women of means would be able to use their affluence to access safe abortions, legal or not. Poor women, however, would find that their quality of life would decrease either due to death or illness induced by back alley or self-induced abortions or due to having another child in an already economically strapped situation.

(A Striking Side Note From The Film: Apparently the most frequent cause of death for women in between the ages of 15 and 45 in the 1950s [when abortion was not legal] were either unsafe abortions or complications from unsafe abortions. So if you are truly pro-life you would also have to take this into account when making your decisions about how to cherish life to the fullest.)

Another inherent issue that plagues one trying to be a seamless pro-lifer is the next point:

3) A life inside a life.

One of the film’s speakers asserted that this debate is so heated because (regardless of where you think life occurs) what we’re discussing is a life inside of a life.

One life is already well established. There is no question that the pregnant woman is very much alive, has a drive to life, and would probably be aware if her life were ever threatened.

Then there’s the ‘life’ inside. This is the point of contention. If it’s a life from the moment the sperm hits egg … then both their lives need to be considered equally. If it’s a life from the moment where it would be able to live outside of the mother’s body, then until that moment, the fate of the amalgamation of cells is at the discretion of the woman whose body it is in.

Because there is no set idea as to when that life gets to the point where it should be considered more than just a developing cell-bundle, there is difficulty in creating blanket agreements when it comes to how to prioritize those two lives.

Because how do you put one life ahead of another?

This brings us to the next striking moment in the film where one of the commentators mentioned:

4) What is a Life, Exactly?

Many hold the standard that it is straight wrong to kill another human being, but wouldn’t hesitate to chomp down a steak.

There are others who couldn’t dream of hurting any semi-cognizant animal, but if a mosquito (or in my current house’s case, a fruit fly) came buzzing around their ear, they wouldn’t hesitate to smash it into oblivion.

And even though plants are alive, I don’t think anyone considers them alive enough not to step on, pick, trample, cut, or even eat them.

Where I’m going here is that the person who brought the question of, “what is life’ suggests that maybe instead of debating about whether or not the fetus is a life, it’s time for us to take a really good look at what life means to us.

If life is just the life force, then in reality, everything needs to be spared. Plants, animals, fetuses, humans, everything and anything that is alive.
But if life means the ability to realize that you are alive, the ability to desire life, or the ability to appreciate and recognize life … then that changes your focus, and perhaps because in fetal development, cognizant functioning does not occur until later in the pregnancy, termination before cognition would not be a crime against a sentient being.

In other words, the developing fetus, although it is alive, it does not yet qualify as having a life.

5) Pro-Choicers are doing more to decrease abortion than Pro-Lifers.

In the films someone brought up the point that because pro-choicers are champions of choice, they are also champions of trying to provide pregnancy prevention. They tend to be more dedicated to making sure folks don’t even get to the point of needing an abortion, and as a result are helping the abortion rate decline.

Some of the anti-abortion folks are also anti-sex education, therefore limiting knowledge surrounding preventative measures. This, in turn, creates a higher pregnancy rate in the uneducated populace who is (surprise!) having sex despite their lack of knowledge, which in turn could also increase the number of abortions accessed (and the number of children in a largely inadequate foster care system).

Now, this also plays back in to number 1. Leaders in the communities of pro-life politics don’t want the issue to go away, because it’s such an easy issue with which they can get people to join their parties/platforms/campaigns/churches etc.

6) Where I Stand

So here I am, drained and newly educated thinking about what language I can use to describe my position.

I’ve decided that I am a Pro-Lifer for Choice

What does that mean? Not what it sounds like.

I am in no way anti-abortion. I think that any woman who isn’t me can do with her body what she pleases. I have no right to make that decision for her. I also do not endorse the pro-life organizations out there in the world.

For me, believing that abortion is a right that someone has for themselves doesn’t make me anti-life, so why can’t I call myself pro-life? Being against capital punishment, war, and war weapons manufacture makes me more pro-life than the pro-lifers, in my humble opinion.

I have decided that I refuse to let those behind anti-abortion politics monopolize that phrase for their own use, as it is a phrase that could have so many potential meanings.

Front this point forward, I am officially acquisitioning the phrase and utilizing it, in what I feel, is a much more appropriate and empowering way.

I am all for cherishing and improving life, and I believe that in the current reality we live in, anti-abortion legislation is not a means to that end.

If someday education improves, perhaps I will no longer endorse this ideology, but as it stands right now, abortion is something that is necessary to keep as many children out of poverty as possible, to save the taxpayers money, and to save the lives of so many women who might otherwise downward spiral due to circumstances.

Pro-Lifer For Choice, feel free to acquisition is for yourself, if it makes you feel good to do so.

-Becca

First off. Camp was fuckin’ amazing. Any expectations I had were completely obliterated within the first 48 hours. And I had high expectations from the start. Staff training was fun (seriously), I was with 13-14 year olds who totally rocked (and through my tutelage were all about talking about pooping the whole week), and I was the hype I wanted to see at camp.

I have no voice left, I’m exhausted, and I’m also amped to change my life in the ways I’ve been thinking about in the past couple months.

Which brings me to the *buh buh buh* ABSTINENCE QUEST.

So, this is not quite exactly what it sounds like. It’s actually much more than it sounds like.

I am attempting, for the first time in my life, to have discipline and really get the things done that I want to get done.

I am going to be hardcore about this until September 19th. After that point, I will be reassessing my list and will check back in with you regarding how it has gone.

Here is the crazy list of changes:

1) No penis/vagina or oral sex without an STI test first (everything outside of that is A-Ok).
2) I am taking a Hitachi holiday to see if I can retrain myself to not be vibro dependent.
3) I will go to swim practice every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7a without fail (with the exception of work commitments. If a M,W,F practice is missed due to a work commitment, I will make it up on Saturday [Or Sunday if there is Cal Football]).
4) I will weight train every Tuesday and Thursday at 6a.
5) I will go to sleep in between 10p and 11p Sunday – Thursday.
6) I will not exercise two days of the week to give my body the chance to rest.
7) I will brush AND floss twice a day.
8 ) I will cook dinner on those nights I get home early enough to do so.
9) I will be a pescatarian (except for Debbie’s chicken wings).
10) Drinking and smoking will only happen socially and only on Fridays, Saturdays or under HIGHLY special circumstances.
11) When drinking, I will limit myself to only 3 drinks.
12) I will only eat out once a week at work.
13) I will read at least one chapter of the current book I’m reading every day.
14) I will not go on craigslist to look at the personals (for entertainment purposes or otherwise).
15) I will wake up when my alarm goes off.

This is fucking crazy. Here are some of the justifications I’m sure you’re curious about:

1) After my HIV scare, I decided it was time to slow down. Sex is great, but this is the only body I’ve got and maybe it’s time to start respecting it more. If someone isn’t respectful enough of their own bodies or of my body to wait for a test … I’m better off fucking myself anyway. Time to walk the talk.
2) There is going to be a day when I’m going to want an orgasm and there isn’t going to be electricity nearby. Plus it’s been taking 10 minutes (as opposed to my usual 5 or 6) to come and I’d like to let my body return to equilibrium. I fully plan on having orgasms, not to worry.
3) I haven’t exercised regularly in a year, and I feel it in my body. I felt it at camp. I feel it when I walk up and down stairs. I don’t like it. I want my body to be strong again, but I also want to do it in a more healthy way than I did last time. Three regular swim practices sound like the way to do it.
4) I want to actually compete when I swim and I’ll have to cross train to do that. Hence the weight training.
5) If I want to survive this, I’m going to need to have a semi-regular sleep schedule.
6) Again, I want to do this healthily, and not kill myself by working out 7 days a week like I did the last time I was really gung-ho about exercise.
7) I went to the dentist today, and my teeth looked impeccable in the x-rays. I’d like to keep them that way.
8 ) I’m a grown ass woman who eats sandwiches everyday. Time to step up and learn how to cook for myself.
9) I’ve been half assing it by eating chicken and turkey. Time to step it up another notch. Only fish for this lady from now on. (Minus my roommate Debbie’s chicken wings. There are some things in life that are just too fucking good to deprive yourself of.)
10) Sometimes you just have to listen to the messages your body is sending you and listen to them. I have lost enough motivation and puked enough times to finally admit that it’s time to set limits. It’s not something I would completely remove from my life, but it is time to remove them from the times where they might get in the way of my life.
11) Read above.
12) I just bought a new car (a Smart Passion if you’re curious), moved out of my parents’ house, and have all kinds of new bills to pay. For the sake of my health and the sake of my wallet, I need to start being more frugal when it comes to lunches.
13) I have a stack of 8 books sitting on the top of my bookshelf waiting to be read. It’s time to get on it.
14) This is a chapter of the book of my life that I’m ending. CL served its purpose. I have no regrets and wouldn’t change anything, but its run it’s course and I no longer need CL’s services.
15) Instead of letting it snooze for 2 hours (more sometimes).

So, there we are. I hope that those of you who read this help me, support me, and cheer me on in my quest.

I of course, am always my biggest cheerleader, but the support of my friends, coworkers and loved ones never hurt.

May your quest be as epic and as fruitful (hopefully) as mine will be.

-Becca

The skies were brown and hazy with smoke. The sun was the color of fire.

And she was fuckin’ hot. Her cheap target beater was clinging to her sweaty skin. It poured in rivulets off her forehead and stung her eyes. All she wanted was to be out of the smoke and the heat, but there was so much work to be done.

But there was a silver lining. There always was.

It was him. He had been sweating and toiling next to her all day. They had only exchanged the barest of words. Every time you spoke the smoke-tainted air poured into your mouth, making it dry and making your throat burn.

But she did know that his name was Pat. He was from a small town in Utah. He was here for the same reason the rest of them were. And she knew he was tall.

She was, by no means short, but she still only came up to the middle of his chest.

Now, she had seen tall people before, but he was tall and substantial. He wasn’t just bones like all the other tall men she had encountered. He was distracting.

As he went through the luggage, trying, just like her, to sort the mess out, she watched his jaw clench and his muscles pulsate under his caramel skin. As he hoisted the bag he was working on from one spot on the platform to another, his whole body engaged in the process, leaving her mouth dry with desire.

She had a flash in her mind:

Him, looking to her, dropping the bag he was currently working on and pinning her against the wall of the nearest cabin. Whispering breathily into her ear, “Is this okay, because I’ve imagined taking you all day and I don’t think I can hold out any longer.” As he leans over, the mixture of a days worth of sweat and toil wafts into her nostrils, his rock hard phallus juts into her belly … her breath quickens and her cleft moistens.

A breathy response, “Yes, please, yes.”

He picks her up so his cock is in between them and slams her hard against the cabin. She lets out a moan of commingled pain and pleasure.

“Mmmm…”

“What was that?” he asks her as he wipes the sweat from his brow and grabs the next bag.

“Uh, nothing.” she responds, knowing that her face is turning as crimson as the sun.

He gives her a strange look, runs a hand through his fro, and continues the hard work.

She can’t believe she just moaned out load … and decides that putting her mind on the work might be a better strategy than creeping out her work partner. They worked side by side, in silence for another hour or so.

‘Hey, Pat, I need some water. You want me to fill your bottle?”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

When she returned with the filled bottles, his back was to her. His shirt clung to him just as hers did to her, and she could see every muscle in his back working in rhythm as he sorted. Sweat rolled down his neck and her nipples hardened.

Another flash:

She approaches him from behind and wraps her arms around him. She runs her hands across his sweaty chest and under his drenched shirt. His legs get week and he drops to his knees. She shoves her fingers into his fro, pulls his head back and takes his ear into her mouth. The taste of salt makes her gently moan in his ear. Her free hand begin to move gingerly to the clasp of his pants.

“Only if you want me to.”

He removes her hand from his hair, and she has a moment where she’s afraid she’s gone too far. But when he takes her hand and thrusts it under his boxers onto his hard cock, she has a bit mor understanding of the situation. She unclasps his button with the other hand and pulls out his damp, throbbing member. She begins to caress his cock, paying special attention to his sensitive uncut head, and he begins to arch in approval.

He deftly pulls her in front of him so she can handle his piece with more alacrity. As she works, he lets out small, guttural moans. “Can I touch you?” he asks. She nods in approval and he works his hand onto her sweaty torso. He pulls her in closer and slips his hand under her bra. He delivers a quick, hard, pinch to her nipple and she can’t help but show him her approval.

“Uggggghhh”

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah .. .um … ugggghhh it’s hot. Here’s your water.” She says as she totally avoids any eye contact. She’s glad the clit is not the penis, because as hard as her clit was at that moment, she would have been totally busted.

“Thanks.” He says as he downs half the bottle. He takes off his shirt and uses the rest over his head and torso to cool himself down.

As she watches him out of the corner of her eye, her thirst becomes insatiable and it’s as if she can’t get enough of the cool water cascading down her parched throat. She takes a deep breath and kneels down to resume her work.

This time, he kneels next to her. Close enough to feel his heat. Close enough to hear the small grunts of work. Close enough to make the wetness she was already experiencing a cascade. Close enough to notice that he was starting to get hard.

“Whoah!”

“You okay?” He says, as he continues working.

“Uh, just that … this person has really cool batman underoos. Awesome!”

“Yeah … I guess.”

At this point she’s pretty sure that these hot fantasies of hers are going to stay that way.

So she fantasizes on purpose this time:

“Dude, you’re fucking weird … but I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do than fuck you until we’re both just a tangle of sweat and exhaustion.” He says to her.

“Sounds like a fucking deal to me. But first, we gotta talk shop, just really quick.”

“I’m not on birth control, so condoms are a must (and I’ve got a few.) If I get pregnant, I’m having an abortion, and you’re paying for half of it. I’ve just been tested recently and things are looking good on my end. I like my random hookups hard and rough and hot. I’m going to struggle, but I only want you to stop if I say the word ‘Hyacinthe’. If you approve, let me know your testing history and then we’re good to go.”

“Everything sounds killer. I just got tested and all things are a go with me. My safe word is Caterpillar. You’re welcome to do a visual inspection if you’d like. ”

“When we get there.”

At which point he pushes her down onto the large pile of luggage they’re sorting and roughly puts his mouth on hers.

“Oh … and not too much tongue … I hate that.”

He smiles and as he kisses her again, she starts to struggle underneath him. As he pins her down, her breath quickens with the intensity of the struggle and her rising arousal. He holds her down with one large hand and takes her shirt off with the other. He pauses at the button of her pants and looks her in the eyes.

She nods in approval and while still pinning her with one hand, he removes her pants. He takes one large finger and plays with her pussy lips. He runs them up and down the inner labia and her hips buck involuntarily, pleading with him to fuck her with those huge fingers. He teases her cunt a little more and then takes his index finger and puts it in her mouth.

“This is what you want, isn’t it? Inspire me to put this into you.”

She gives him a preview of what she’s going to do with his cock later, and runs her mouth and tongue up and down his finger. She repeats the motion, always giving a bit of special attention to the tip of his finger, and she watches as kis cock twitches to life in his khaki shorts.

“I’m inspired.”

He runs his wet finger down her body, but she stops him right as his hand gets to her vaginal opening.

“Two fingers, and the first thrust needs to be fast and hard.”

He smiles and caresses her opening. She can tell that he’s going to give her what she wants, but it’s going to be on his time.

Just as she’s about to beg for it, he takes two fingers and thrusts them into her.

“Yes, oh god, that’s exactly what I want”

She clamps her PC muscles around his fingers and sees his eyes light with surprise.

“More” she demands.

He fucks her with his fingers and her back arches as he starts to curl his fingers and hit her G-Spot. His thrusts are hard and consistent. And the sensation radiates through her whole body. She reaches down and starts to caress her clit in time with his thrusts. His breathing gets erratic and he puts his hand in his pants to free his trapped dick.

“Mmm…pull it out, I want to see you touch yourself.”

He follows her command and roughly strokes himself in time with the thrusts of his fingers. As she watches him fuck himself she imagines that impressive cock thrusting in and out of her and her muscles clamp down even harder. She can tell she close to squirting all over the luggage and she’s loving every moment.

“I want to fuck.”

She looks up from her work and is in complete shock. “Did you just say something?”

“Uh, yeah. I just asked you if you’d like to fuck. I feel like you’ve been fantasizing about me all day. Every time you’ve turned your back I’ve gotten hard because I’ve been doing the same damn thing. And I think you saw me get hard once. I mean … with your shirt clinging to you all day, and the smell of sweat and hard work, I can’t keep my dick from jumping to attention every five minutes. I want to fuck you … right here… right now.”

“Sounds like a fucking deal. But we need to talk shop first…”

Now … why on earth would someone who has obviously never had kids title a blog post as such?

Is it because I’m channeling into a previous life where I did have kids?

Is it because I get lots of questions about this in workshops and I decided to write about it?

Is it because I interviewed 500 women about their experience with sex after kids?

No.

It’s actually because this is not a title that I came up with.

It’s a book title.

The author of this book is a woman named Kimberly Ford, and her amazing book comes out on July 8th.

I met Kimberly ford 2 years ago during one of the most amazing pleasure parties I ever had the privilege of hosting.

I remember a few things very distinctly about the night.

My first memory was meeting her children. One of them was either a little girl with a masculine name … or a little boy wearing a dress. Either way, I remember being stoked to see that there are parents who let their kids express themselves however they see fit. I remember it making me excited to meet said parents.

My second memory was that the women who attended this party were all very impressive. There were Doctors, Nurses, Authors … some super powerhouse ladies… who also happened to be mothers. Not only were they professionally and personally awesome, but they were one of the most open groups I’ve experienced in my tenure as a pleasure party representative. They really just blew my mind, taught me a thing or two about Moms, and made me laugh several times throughout the night.

I also remember how warm and welcoming they were of little 22 year old me, rolling into their circle of very experienced women. They were really respectful of me and my knowledge, and gave lots of kudos for my presentation.

It was a great night for me to be sure.

But apparently, it was also a really great night for Kimberly, because a chapter of her book is all about that pleasure party!

That’s right!!! Yours truly inspired an entire chapter in a book.

So, if you’ve ever been curious about what my pleasure parties are like, you can get a taste in the book Hump.

It’s available on Amazon.com for pre-order, and I also encourage you to go to your local independent bookstore and have them order it as well!

I’ve already got mine on pre-order and am stoked to see how it reads!

Also, just as a side note … this girl will be taking her summerly sabbatical at Camp Okizu, so will be MIA for a couple of weeks.
I’ll miss you all, but I’ll be back!

Much love (AND BUY HUMP!)

-Becca

Sometimes I have to search way down into the depths of my soul to find shit to write about.

And then sometimes shit falls into my lap.

Yesterday, I read two articles on vagino and vulvaplasty and then watched an entire BBC documentary on the subject of vulva and vagina alterations.

While there are many different takes on the morality, the necessity and the prevalence of women altering their vagina, one simple fact runs through the whole issue.

Women are talking about, looking at, paying more attention to, and seeing more of their and other women’s vulvas.

On the one hand this is wonderful! I’m all for vulva self love and knowing your body.

But, we live in a culture where consumerism plays on awareness … and tries to turn awareness into insecurity to turn a profit.

Hence the upswing in vulva ‘beautification’ rituals.

Let’s start with hair.

Waxing, shaving, lasering … tasering.

Okay, so no one tasers their vulva for looks (maybe for sexual pleasure?) … but all that other stuff happens.

The Pros Of Hair Removal

Your vulva is in fashion.
While the fro-laden cooch was once the norm, now, it seems that the less hair there, the better, when it comes to looks.
It can increase erotic sensitivity for some.
The less hair, the more your skin feels sensation being transferred to the tissues in that region.
Retention Of Smells
The less hair you have, the less your vulva will smell like vulva.
Hair grows back slowly or never.
With waxing, hair grows back at a slower rate than with shaving. And with enough laser treatments, it’ll never grow back.

The Cons:

Razor Burn
If you’re shaving, razor burn is always a possibility.
Pain
Both waxing and lasering can be painful. If you are considering a wax, make sure you go somewhere that has a good track record. Those parts have lots of nerve endings so if you get burned or have a less than gentle technician … it can leave a lasting impression.
Lasering is Permanent
Which means that if pubic hair comes back in style … you’ll be left with a passé muff style.
Pubes Help With Sexual Response
I know, sounds crazy. But, the short story is that your pubes trap the smells and pheromones emitted from your vag. These pheromones actually bypass the pre-frontal cortex in sexual response, head straight to your limbic system (the system responsible for arousal) and help to get your partner all kinds of excited. The more pubes you have, the more concentrated are those pheromones.
Maintenance
I know this is a shock to many of you, but hair grows back (unless it’s lasered).

Now, I can’t classify this as either a pro or con … because it’s my own personal opinion. But naked pussy, to me, is infantilizing. Trimmed pussy, groomed pussy, sure. There’s still hair. But naked pussy is what pre-pubescent girls have. Seriously, even if all you have is a 2cm wide landing strip, I still feel that pubes are a sign of the passage into womanhood. I’m tired of people trying to tell me that I can’t be a woman.

On to Vaginoplasty!

This is the vagina tightening craze that is sweeping the nation.

You go in to a cosmetic surgeon and they tighten you right up, making sex better than ever!

For who … well that depends.

I saw this procedure done on the documentary and it is crazy.

There were like 15 sets of clamps, and they cut open your perineum … this woman’s crotch looked like Frankenstein’s monster… And she had to heal for 6 weeks before resuming sex.

I can’t even try to be neutral about this one. Sorry folks.

Want a tight vagina? PC Excercises are the key!

What’s a PC?

It’s a smooth muscle that lines your pelvis and helps with many things including orgasms!

When you orgasm, the PC muscle contracts in a rhythmic pattern over and over again. The stronger this muscle is, the more intense orgasms feel.

The stronger this muscle is, the tighter vaginas feel. (And it’s not just for the ladies. Fellas can also strengthen this muscle and will experience better orgasms AND can make their penises dance! Ha!)

The way you rock exercising this muscle is to squeeze it in repetition. (I recommend doing them every time you pee, so that way you’re rocking the exercises a few times a day.)

You can find the muscle by peeing and then stopping the flow of your pee. When you’re done peeing, try flexing that muscle again (don’t use your abs … just flex that muscle).

Then you can hold it for 5 seconds, 5 times. When you get used to that you can up your hold to 10 and then 15 seconds.

If you rock that every time you pee, you’ll be golden (pun absolutely intended).

Another way you can flex these muscles? Sex and masturbation!

That’s right, every time you orgasm, these muscles are worked. And working up to the orgasm also works these muscles.

In this case, the more you use it, the less you lose it! Awesome.

Vulvaplasty

So, this is where they go in and ‘fix’ vulvas so they look right.

I can only be pro vulvaplasty in certain situations.

For example, you have inner labia that hurt or chafe when you walk or ride bikes or wear pants.

Totally understandable. It’s like when your breasts are so large they give you back problems. That’s totally a legit reason to go under the knife for alteration.

That’s pretty much all I can personally agree with.

But, the pros

Your vulva will be what your mind wants it to be.
The brain is the most powerful sex organ we have, and when your body lines up with what your mind wants, it can make sex better.

The Cons

The Cost
This kind of surgery is not covered by insurance and is definitely in the thousands.
The Practitioners
Man … there are all kinds of vulvaplasty providers that decide to make a buck and butcher vulvas. They think cutting everything off is the way to go. Make sure that if you’re going to do this you get someone reputable. You want a reconstruction, not a mutilation.

Becca’s Conclusion

Someone in the documentary said something like ‘the purpose of a vulva is pleasure … so if you’re getting pleasure from your vulva and you’re having orgasms … then it’s doing it’s job and you shouldn’t have to worry about it. So long as you’re enjoying it, that’s all that matters!’

I, personally, think that’s a great conclusion to come to.

I also think that whatever decision you make about pussy aesthetics, your decision should be for you. Not for a partner, not for future partners, but for what you think is beautiful and sexy for you. If that involves modifying and lasering, then I support you 100% … so long as it’s a decision that you’re not being forced or coerced to make.

Personally, my vulva will be left surgically unaltered and trimmed, but not bald. Because that makes me happy and it makes my vulva happy.

-Becca